absent: shadows of the body

Written By Elana Goodman

I Absence

In my ongoing exploration, I've taken on the task of creating distress signals and delved deeper into the concept in an exploration I've titled "absent: shadows of the body." To explain the progression of this research practice, I initially started with choreographing a distress signal.

Task : Choreograph a distress signal, a distress call.

Upon reflecting on this task, I identified my distress signal as capturing moments when I experienced distress while deliberately excluding my body from those moments. I recognized a pattern in myself during tasks involving my body – a tendency to disengage and remain absent, almost as an act of protest, raising questions about the challenge of disconnecting my body from acts of protest.

As a woman of color, I find myself inevitably engaged in what I term "subconscious protest," where the mere act of my existence in a space can be perceived as a protest. The choice to be seen becomes a non-choice, prompting me to ponder whether this is, in essence, an act of selective forgetting as a body or embodying absence.

This contemplation brings to mind the concept of "double-consciousness," defined as experiencing an inward "twoness" due to racialized oppression and disvaluation in a white-dominated society (Pittman). This prompts a crucial question: is the act of disappearing, as a body of color, an intentional protest or an instance of embodying absence? The tension between visibility and invisibility becomes a nuanced exploration of agency and resistance within the broader context of racialized experiences.

investigating embodying absence

This reflection inspired me to question the idea of absence, leading me to ponder when I feel absent or present, and what distress looks and feels like. Documenting moments capturing these feelings through photographs, I sensed a pull towards disassociation. To embody the feeling of absent/present, I underwent stages of separating self from body, where the self represents consciousness. However, this separation cannot exist without the other, meaning that disassociating from my physical body doesn't render it lifeless but transforms it into a shadow or a memory of the present self that once inhabited it.

In a related exploration, Margherita Landi and Agnese Lanza investigate the theme of absence through the lens of virtual reality in a project called "Embodying Absence." This collaborative inquiry adds another layer to the multifaceted exploration of the complex dynamics between presence, absence, and the body.

“Presence and absence are not opposing terms but intertwined and often coexisting. Upon close examination, we can admit that ‘absence’ is a difficult concept to grasp. However, there is a materiality often overlooked.

What is absent must already be a part of our corporeality, of our remembered bodily practice, of our habitus, for us to perceive it as lacking. The substance and visceral aspect of absence are provided by the person experiencing it firsthand. The individual undergoing this experience must activate themselves to fill the void.” (Landi Lanza)

‘Embodying Absence’ is the final phase in approaching the theme of absence, following ‘Dealing with Absence’ (absence as distance) and ‘Touching Absence’ (absence as relationship). The last step is a process of research and acceptance of absence as an inner state.

Upon reflecting on these questions I began documenting photographs of moments that captured this feeling.

  1. When do I feel absent?

  2. When do I feel present?

  3. What does distress look like?

  4. What does embodying distress feel like?

II distress SIGNALS & the black body

As I delved into the exploration of "distress" and the embodiment of this concept, the inquiry led me to investigate what a distress signal truly looks like. Drawing an analogy from sailors at sea, who reserve distress signals for instances of "grave and imminent" danger, the question arises: What does a body in this state look like?

Beginning with our entrance into the world as infants, distress is initially learned as a response to a lack of survival needs and discomfort. We express distress through crying and vocalizing when hungry or uncomfortable. Over time, our conceptualization of comfort and distress evolves based on these fundamental human needs, shaping our understanding of distress to death/survival.

In their journal, "Fleeing the Body: A Terror Management Perspective on the Problem of Human Corporeality," Jamie L. Goldenberg, Tom Pyszczynski, Jeff Greenberg, and Sheldon Solomon introduce "terror management theory" (TMT). TMT explores how humans cope with the awareness of mortality or the fear of death, positing that the realization of one's mortality generates existential anxiety. Individuals then develop psychological mechanisms, or distress signals, to manage this terror.

This discussion ties back to my initial reflections on double consciousness. Ta-Nehisi Coates, in "Between the World and Me," articulates his awakening to the realities of being black in America. Coates provides a framework for comprehending the nation's history, emphasizing the damaging construct of race that disproportionately affects black bodies. He underscores the responsibility placed on him, like others, for the protection of his black body, revealing the impact of generational trauma. He says:

“I have never believed the brothers who claim to “run”, much less “own,” the city. We did not design the streets we do not fund them. We do not preserve them. But I was there, nevertheless, charged like all the others with the protection of my black body” (Coates 22)

The black body, responding to the perpetual feelings of "grave and imminent" danger, develops a twoness in consciousness as a psychological strategy to manage the distress inherent in the black body experience.

Relating this to Terror Management Theory (TMT), the theory suggests that individuals adopt cultural worldviews to alleviate existential anxieties. For black individuals with double consciousness, this involves navigating between mainstream and racial-cultural values, creating a sense of two-ness or internal conflict. Activism, aligned with TMT's concept of symbolic immortality, becomes a means for black individuals to assert agency, leaving a lasting impact on society and combatting systemic inequalities.

Self-esteem, influenced by societal perceptions and racial identity, is emphasized by TMT, with the historical prejudices within the black body experience impacting self-esteem. Resilience is fostered through the affirmation of racial identity.

Recognizing that cultural distinctions may lead to defensive reactions, TMT acknowledges challenges faced by those with double consciousness when navigating cultural biases. Asserting cultural identity and challenging stereotypes become forms of defense against societal norms that marginalize or exclude black experiences.

In exploring the intersection of TMT and double consciousness, I gained insight into how individuals, particularly those with marginalized identities, navigate existential fears and strive for meaning amid societal challenges. The black body experience adds layers of complexity to these psychological processes, revealing the intricate ways individuals manage distress in the face of adversity.

This exploration intertwines these theories and reveals the intricate connections between the psychological strategies developed by individuals, particularly within the black community, to navigate the profound challenges of existential fears and societal injustices.

III ShadoWS

Exploring the psychological connotations of the shadow, young artist Oussama Zouaimia has created a series of illustrations in a minimalist style. He is a graphic illustrator based in Guelma, Algeria and is working on an exhibition on this phenomenon that is often used as a token for our darker sides, the lesser self or the concealed personality.

The last part of this practice of research is asking to engage with the shadow self.

This concept, deeply grounded in Jungian psychology, serves as a symbolic representation of the unconscious and suppressed aspects within an individual's personality. Drawing parallels with the duality discussed in the black body experience, the shadow self encompasses thoughts, emotions, and desires that society deems unacceptable or incongruent with one's self-image.

Contrary to a complete act of absence, the presence of the shadow self introduces a dynamic element to the body's engagement. Instead of allowing the body to fully detach, the shadow self ensures that the body remains in a continuous dialogue, whether consciously or unconsciously, with both external and internal realms. This ongoing conversation manifests in states of distress or the exhibition of distress signals, underscoring the perpetual interplay between the seen and unseen aspects of the self.

In moments of embodying absence the shadow is always present

Final thoughts

What started as an exploration into creating distress signals, "absent: shadows of the body,” reveals a pattern of disengagement from my body in moments of distress.

My presence often constitutes a form of "subconscious protest," challenging notions of choice in being seen and raising questions about selective forgetting or embodying absence. This contemplation intertwines with the concept of "double-consciousness," pondering whether disappearing, as a body of color, is intentional protest or an embodiment of absence, exploring agency and resistance within racialized experiences. The exploration into absence and presence, documented through photographs, led to a pull towards disassociation, revealing a complex interplay between consciousness and the physical form. The investigation of distress unveils intricate connections with psychological strategies within the black community, a community which is forced to navigate existential fears and societal injustices. The engagement with the shadow self serves as a fitting conclusion, symbolizing the perpetual interplay and inextricable ties between the seen and unseen aspects of the self, adding a dynamic layer to the ongoing dialogue between consciousness, the body, and the external world.

 

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Elana Goodman
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